Thursday, April 17, 2008

he gives and takes away

a few weeks ago i was down in chicago for a RELOAD conference and it was there that i was caught up in a time of worship that impacted me by the very words we sang. i've always loved worship, and i've always loved having a time to offer back a little bit of what i feel like i receive.

there has been so much going on in my life that i've chosen to keep private lately that made worship really hard because i didn't want to give anything back this time. i've felt like my cries have not been heard, that my tears have been in vain, and that i was unloved.

but during this time we sang "he give and takes away...and still my heart will choose to say Lord blessed be your name..." it was at this moment that i knew i couldn't pick the good over the bad. in the midst of my storms i'm choosing to say Lord blessed by your name.

Monday, April 07, 2008

wow kanas just won

while i stopped caring about the game after state loss i couldn't help but hope that memphis would lose after beating state. well after a long game including overtime kanas came back like champions and won!!!

Sunday, April 06, 2008


the last few weeks have been extremely hard both emotionally and physically but the one thing i knew i needed was the Lord. in the past this was the last place i would have turned to but i've felt so desperate that my only option was to go to Him. now i'm feeling much better about a lot of things but specifically on how God is teaching me something out of every little thing i hear and read. He is showing me that situation are temporary but He is everlasting. i know that this probably seems so simple but i'm praying that it means i might actually be getting it and getting Him.

one thing that is hard is i ran away from God in a really bad way when i was 20 and since then i haven't had these crazy spiritual highs that i used to when i was a teen. well i sit here almost 12 years later and wonder if i'll ever feel that again. or if i ever need to feel that spiritual high again. i know that i get inspired that when i share what the Lord has done i'm brought to tears, and i know that He is faithful. i'm beginning to think that i've allowed the western world to mold what being a christ follower was supposed to be.

the biggest thing i've learned is that i need to count my blessings and name them one by one and acknowledge that not one blessings is because of anything i've done. again this should have been a simple concept but it's taken me some time to get it so i have to thank Detrick Haddon and his new CD 7 Days