Wednesday, April 25, 2007

life hasn't stopped

it's been 3 days since I got the bad news from my friend and the shock still seems as fresh as it was then. maybe i expect to much and it still should be fresh but i just look around and realize that nothing else has had to stop. the mom had to redo all of her financial papers, the kids had to go to school, life continued. doesn't having a spouse walk out on you constitute a life pause?

my brother and his wife found out on monday that they're having a boy. it was such an exciting moment to get that call and her my brother say "i'm going to have a son" and you're going to have nephew".

life didn't stop.

my mom left after a glorious visit. life didn't stop

now i'm sitting here and wish i could make it all stop even if it was just for a few minutes. even more i wish we could go back and relive and redo those moments where in the midst of joy, sorrow, and regret life didn't stop.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

why would you?

i got one of those calls tonight from a close family friend who told me that her dad packed up and moved to florida with the woman he's been having an affair with. i've known about the affair for a few months but i thought they were working things out???

how could you leave?

what are we supposed to say to your kids now?

who are you to think you have the power to destroy them, to destroy us?

if you ever read this i hope you know we'll make it without you, we'll be stronger because of what you've done.

i hope you get help. i hope you know god hasn't turned from you. i hope one day you come back and reconcile yourself to your family. i hope you remember you have a family.

where u at conference

so this weekend was the "where u at" urban conference hosted by youth unlimited a great organization here in gr that serves the local church through events and training. anyway we had over 200 students attend and it was one of the best ministry experiences of my life. this was my first urban youth event and i couldn't believe how god showed up in these students lives. for so many of them there god showed up and showed out. the preaching was ridiculous not to mention the worship. one thing that just left me speechless was the student leaders that took charge and basically ran the event with a little help from their leaders.

i had the opportunity to speak to about 100 or so girls about sex and the consequences of sex outside marriage. i don't know if it will make a difference in all of their lives but i know that god spoke through me and used all that was left in me to speak to them.

but one of the highlights for me came saturday during lunch. you see at this event we played hype music and played it loud and at some point kirk franklin's "stomp" came on and we were dancing in our seats and i told one of my students that we need to do the hustle to which she said "you can't do the hustle in here". if you know me you know i don't back down so i got up when to the middle of the cafeteria (this was a huge open space) and started the hustle with another leader and by the end we had well over 100 students participating in it. and if that wasn't good enough they played it again this morning so i got up and started it again and this time we even got our preacher from the general session to do it with us!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

an exciting yet strange night

tonight a group of 20 or so women got together to have dinner an small bridal shower for one of my best friends. we went to san chez and had a fantastic dinner a lot of great conversation and catching up with friends i haven't seen in a long time.

it wasn't until after the party that my night became a little stranger than normal. i had to run to the store to pick up my cousin's baby shower gift and when i was checking out my brother called and said "did you order a pizza?". now i'm thinking why would i order a pizza if i wasn't at home and just had this fantastic dinner, so i said no and that it must be a mistake. that is when he said "the pizza guy said it was for jamie and that it was already paid for". at this point i'm totally freaking out and really don't want to go home in case my crazy pizza stalker is waiting for me. i even went so far to say don't eat the pizza we don't know who it came from.

then on the drive home i felt like i would lose my mind trying to figure out who sent it so i started calling people. then it hit me there is this guy that i've dated on and off but, we really haven't gone out in six months or more but we've been talking again. so i called him and sure enough it was him. he said that he thought i would enjoy the pizza and just wanted me to have it.

how sweet is that? this isn't even the first time he's done that, he's left breakfast on my front porch early in the morning as i'm leaving for work. he is such a good guy and i really need to pray about and see if he is someone that i should date again. we didn't break up or anything because of anything bad but, because i freak out when things look like they are getting serious. crazy thing is that is exactly what i want.