i never thought i would say this...

i'm in michigan and love it. i finally made it home last night around 8:30 and it was cold and dark, but i was home.

for the last five years i've struggled with living here and even more so in the last two years since my parents moved struggled with not having a home. i don't know if it is b/c i'm single, b/c i don't have kids, or what but i have felt homeless but with a home. i've struggled with finding a church home and being empty. i've said time and time again how silent god was in my life. but, i was wrong.

it wasn't until i went on a spiritual retreat a few weeks ago that i realized that god wasn't silent in my life but was in the silence that i didn't let in my life and he was waiting. i was going to move out of my house this weekend to a different apartment and realized that i couldn't. i realized that this is my home or at least for today it is. god told me in that silence that "he is here, to stop fighting the church, to love the community that he has put me in, and that i have a home, a family, and that i'm loved".

it all came together last night on the plane when i watched a sunset from thousands of miles in the sky, with clouds all around me, with silence in my life. but, more than anything i knew when i finally made it home (and yes this is home) that people were going to be there waiting for me and were excited to have me back. people that prayed for me while i was gone, prayed for me to return saftely, but most importantly have been here in my life the entire time. i think like god my friends and family waited for me to be silent and just let them love me.

thank you...