is feeling a bit better but over being sick. I have too much to do...

What makes me angry....?

Recently I admitted I have an anger problem and what's bigger than my anger is that the majority of the time I feel justified in my anger. I can not admit that I am not and that my entire life I've put God's Greatness below my anger, my sorrow, my grief, my disappointment, and basically the rest of life. I've been wrong but I do believe that I can have justified anger and today that came out.

You see I found out one of our students felt like she had no hope or a future and took her life. This makes me angry because the enemy is coming in and destroying the lives of our young people with his lies. I am here to say that I'm angry and I refuse to sit back and watch it happen anymore. I am here to say that I will stand up and stand in the gap for those young people who are being lied to day in and day out. I am here to say that I will learn to listen with my eyes and not just my ears. I am here and no matter what the enemy tries to throw at us God's Greatness will not fall below anything again!

So yes I'm angry and I am going to do something about it!

the loss of a child

i left ferris 8 years ago. 8 years ago i moved away from some of the greatest friends i've ever had and that made huge impressions in my life and helped me understand me and who my God created me to be. over the weekend i found out that one of my friends and her husband lost a child to a drowning a 20 month old child. while i don't know great details i know they were in the process of moving, i mean within hours of driving away moving from florida to ohio and then it just happened. they became a family that is mourning the loss of one of their children.

i haven't seen these guys in years, i never even got to meet Zeke but Tanya was once a roommate. she has had this unshakable faith ever since i've known her. so now as i sit here i mourn the loss of her son with her, her husband, and all of those that love them and that love her kids. i know this family will make it, i know that heaven is a little bit better because Ezekiel is playing with Jesus, and i pray that the joy that has been lost in these past few days will one day be restored in the memories that have been left.

i love you Durants...

unexplainable faith

it's officially been 1 year since i was let go from the big Z and i'm doing remarkably well. at first i was filled with anger and even some hate regarding how it happened but that has all since left me. now i'm filled with joy, laughter, happiness, and an unexplainable faith that i didn't have before.

this last year was filled with the loss of a job, the purchase of my first house (which i still have), the birth and near loss of my most precious nephew Brendan, love gained, love lost, job offers, no job offers, and support from my friends and family. it has been a huge year for me and one that i don't take for granted. but i finally see that i don't get to see the end and that all of these situations are just pieces, just moments in my life story.

so as i sit and reflect on these past 12 months i just know that i'm not forgotten, i'm not alone, and that i will be okay...

Lil Man's 7th Birthday video

more intentional

this blog hasn't been very intentional but moving forward i would like to change that.

off to LA

well i'm off to LA after 8 weeks of trying to figure out how to make a bookstore work out there. everyone keeps asking me if i'm ready but i have to say i just don't feel like it. not yet!

although this morning while i was getting ready all i could think about was how just 2 1/2 months ago i was planning a trip to Puerto Rico for this very weekend. i had made the decision about 4 months ago that i wasn't going to uywi this year because i wanted to take a congratulations you finally graduated trip (i graduated last weekend) but God had other plans.

when the opportunity came up for me to take this job i knew i had to take it and that meant no trip to Puerto Rico and no fun drinks on the beach served by cute boys. so when i'm asked if i'm ready and i continue to say "NOT YET" i think underneath i'm brushing aside the fact that God brought me here. God will sustain me. God's timing is perfect. Got isn't saying "not yet" to me but "NOW!!!"